Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts

Sunday, December 22, 2019

The Benefits of Volunteering as a Recovery Activity

People in recovery are always looking for productive ways to spend their free time.

They can’t help it: everywhere they go that has anything to do with recovery, that’s what everyone tells them to do. Therapists tell them they need to manage their downtime carefully, recovery fellowships stress the importance of being involved in service work, and articles like this one and this one are filled with advice about ways to have fun that don’t involve alcohol or drugs.
If you’re in recovery, you know they’re all correct: you should always be on the lookout for productive ways to spend your free time, because you know that’s when most relapses happen. You know that when you have a long weekend ahead of you with no meeting planned and nothing on your schedule, you need to get something on the calendar as soon as possible.
Not because you can’t make it through the weekend, but rather you know if you schedule an activity that has nothing to do with alcohol or drugs, you increase the likelihood of reaching Monday – and a return to your regular schedule – with your sobriety intact.
Which brings us to the point of this blog post.
If you’re in recovery and looking for a bona-fide, rock-solid recovery activity (which you should be), we have the perfect idea: volunteering.

Why Volunteer?

We once heard an old-timer at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting put it this way:
“Volunteering is the opposite of active addiction.”
Of course, comparing a chronic disease like an alcohol or substance use disorder with a simple activity like volunteering– even by way of contrast – is comparing apples and oranges. It’s the fallacy of comparison: one of the first logical fallacies one learns about in any critical thinking class in high school or college.
However, the more we spend time with this sentence, the more it rings true.
For three good reasons:
  • Reason One: Many of the behaviors associated with addiction can be accurately characterized as self-centered or even selfish. Volunteering, by definition, is selfless, as opposed to selfish.
  • Reason Two: People living in active addiction tend to isolate and avoid social situations. That’s not what volunteering is like. Almost all volunteer situations are social and involve interacting with new people in new places for hours – and sometimes days – on end.
  • Reason Three: People living in active addiction spend a great deal of time and energy avoiding hard truths and ignoring uncomfortable emotions. Volunteering, by its nature, and a volunteer, by default, recognizes hard truths and difficult situations that often include challenging emotions. Volunteers go toward these obstacles and situations in order to alleviate them, while people living with addiction go away from these obstacles and situations in order to alleviate them.
Those aren’t evidence-based, scientific reasons, but we think you see our point: it’s hard to find two categories of activities that are farther apart from one another than drinking or using drugs and volunteering.

The Benefits of Volunteering

You may accept the old-timer’s premise – volunteering is the opposite of addiction – and think something along the lines of:
“Okay, so volunteering makes a great activity for anyone in recovery. Are there more reasons I should think about finding a place to volunteer?”
The answer is yes, there are. The reasons we offer above form the foundation of why volunteering is a smart thing to do while you’re in recovery, but we’ve come up with five more good reasons for you to consider:

Five Benefits of Volunteering as a Recovery Activity

  1. It keeps you focused on recovery. This may seem like circular logic – like we’re saying it’s a good recovery activity because it’s an activity that’s good for recovery – but it’s not. The act of volunteering foregrounds who you are and what you’re doing. You’re out of the house, you’re not drinking or doing drugs, and you’re doing something for someone other than yourself. When you’re volunteering, you are “out of self,” which recovery fellowship members offer as a means of handling everyday stress. The book “Alcoholics Anonymous” suggests in Step Ten that when selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear crop up, we ask our Higher Power to remove them, and then we “resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.”
  2. It helps manage time. You need to find positive ways to fill your days and nights. You may be okay while you’re at work, going to a community support meeting, exercising, or participating in a hobby, passion, or pastime. It’s the unscheduled time that trips you up and leaves you vulnerable to relapse. If weekends are tough for you, you can put in two full days volunteering. You can even travel – nothing outlandish – to places where people are in the most need. For instance, Florida and Texas needed help after the hurricanes of 2017-2018, and California needed help after the wildfires of 2018. If weeknights give you problems, there are homeless shelters and soup kitchens all over the country in need of evening volunteers.
  3. It improves self-esteem. When you help other people, you feel good about yourself. It’s not the fleeting feeling of euphoria you get from alcohol or drugs that fades when the alcohol or drug leaves your system: it’s a steady feeling of rightness and purpose. It’s something you get when you see the tangible result of your actions and the positive impact they have on the lives of others. Once you have that, no one can take it away from you. Build up enough of those moments and those feelings, and you’re on your way to restoring the self-esteem addiction may have taken from you.
  4. It keeps you engaged with the world and the people in it. Many people who live with addiction deal with intense feelings of loneliness and isolation. You may be familiar with the pattern: you know you have a problem with alcohol or drugs, but for a million reasons, you think you can’t talk to anyone about it. Therefore, you don’t. You hide it. You drink or use drugs alone, which compounds your feelings of loneliness and isolation. It’s a vicious cycle. Volunteering helps break the cycle by giving you a place to go that’s positive and something to do that you know is good. People start counting on you, and that’s one of the reasons you keep showing up: someone out there needs you. Rather than feeling burdened by responsibility, you feel liberated by choice. You create a virtuous cycle that reaffirms itself each time you volunteer.
  5. You help people who need help. There it is: the essence of volunteering. You volunteer not because it looks good, not because it’s easy, and not because there’s a free lunch involved. You volunteer to help someone who needs help. It’s an expanded version of helping an old lady across the street or doing a random act of kindness for a stranger. When you get to the point in your recovery where you can see past yourself and recognize the needs of others, you’re making progress.

Where to Start

Let’s say you’re in recovery and you’re ready to volunteer some of your time to people in need.
Where should you look?
The first place you can look is somewhere you probably go several times a week already: your local peer support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Refuge Recovery, or SMART Recovery. Start with your home group, where you can generally find service positions such as meeting chairperson, secretary or General Service Representative (GSR). Volunteer opportunities at AA, NA, and Refuge Recovery are typically organized by local (city or state) chapters. For instance, New York AA has a volunteer page here and Cleveland AA has a volunteer page here. Most AA and NA Area Service structures offer opportunities to volunteer. To volunteer for SMART Recovery, click here. If you’re interested in learning how to run a Refuge Recovery meeting – their primary volunteer opportunity – click here.
Those are the quickest and easiest places to start. You can put your name in the hat for office work or you can become a sponsor. Reach out to someone, tell them what you want to do and why you want to do it, and they’ll point you in the right direction.
If you want to expand your horizons beyond your peer recovery community, the opportunities are endless. We’ll give you a starter list, but after a few minutes, you’ll realize you can volunteer almost anywhere, doing almost anything you can imagine. With that said, we’ll start with the basics – i.e. shelter, food, health:
Follow those links, sign up for a volunteer day, and go give it a shot. If you’ve never volunteered before, you’re guaranteed to have a new and enriching experience. You’ll also meet like-minded people, because one thing you know ahead of time is this: you’re all there to help the same cause. That simple fact can unite you, lead to valuable friendships, and open a whole new range of recovery activities filled with meaning and purpose. You may also discover a side of yourself you never knew existed when you were living with addiction: the side that gives without needing to receive, lends a hand when there’s one free, and helps simply because someone needs it.Article Source

Thursday, December 5, 2019

The Importance Of Good Personal Development Plan

Creating a personal development plan is as important to your success as creating a business plan is to the success of a company.
"Planning is bringing the future into the present
so that you can do something about it now"

- Alan Lakein
Your personal development plan is the roadmap that you are going to use to become the person that you want to be. The key is to take developing a personal plan step-by-step.
Step 1: Decide who you want to be - This isn't just about a career; this is about your life. Do you want a powerful spiritual life? Do you want to be a huge success in your career? Do you want to be a parent? Do you want to retire at 50? Do you want to have a one year vacation every five years? These are the decision you need to make to have a complete personal development plan.
Step 2: Figure your timeline for each of things on your list that you want to do, while you're developing your personal plan. If you are 45, your timeline will be very different than if you are 25. If you want to be a doctor, you will need to get started sooner than some other careers because it takes longer. If you want to start your own dog walking business, you can be working tomorrow. Honest timelines are an important part of your personal development plan.
Your Personal Development Plan on Paper
Step 3 will be where you start developing your personal development plan and putting things on paper. This is also where you will separate needs from wishes and wishes from dreams.
If you have a debilitating fear of commitment, you really will need to address that before you can do anything else. Mainly because you need to commit to this plan.
If you still have issues with your parents that you carry around, you are going to need to handle them. You can't write the chapters of your future until you stop re-reading the chapters of the past.
If you want to own a G-6, that's great but there are a few steps in between. Each step doesn't need to be spelled out while you're developing your personal plan, but it should be implied.
Making Your Personal Development Plan Work
After you have figured out what you want to do, then next step in developing your personal plan is find the resources you need to make it happen.
If you want to be a doctor, but you don't yet have your high school diploma, then you will need to get a GED.
If you want a deep spiritual life, then you will need to explore until you have found the right path for you.
This is a Personal Development Plan, not an 'Already Completed Snapshot.' Don't get discouraged if it seems like there is a lot to do. That's precisely why you are developing your personal plan with a timeline longer than "NOW!"
Find mentors - If your goal is to make money as a blogger, find someone who can show you a method for doing precisely that. (I know someone who is doing precisely that. [Shameless self-promotion alert!]) If your goal is to be a veterinarian, stop by your local animal hospital. You get the idea. Find someone who is already successful at doing what you want to do and make them part of your personal development plan.
A quick note - Your personal development plan contains absolutely nothing unique. I know we all want to be unique and we are, but someone has already done what you are hoping to do. Find them and find out how they did it. You don't make a triangular wheel just to be different.
Find resources - There are literally millions of books, websites and pamphlets that can guide you through your personal development plan. If it is spirituality you seek, you will find billions of resources. Follow your heart as long as you follow your plan. And don't cling to any one resource while you're developing your personal plan. It's personal, after all, so no one source but you is perfect for the job.
Tell everyone - Tell people about your personal development plan. If you keep it secret, it is much easier to slip from the plan. Post it to your Facebook page, your blog or on LinkedIn. Show family members and friends while you are developing your personal plan. In fact, you might inspire others to do the same.
Get someone to hold you to it - A best friend, spouse or work partner should have a copy of your personal development plan. Let them be a part of developing your personal plan. They have permission to nag you incessantly. They can pick on you and call you out in public until you move your plan forward. Knowing that someone is a part of developing your personal plan with will make it that much harder to procrastinate.
Your success is as important to the people around as it is to you. Everyone who understands how the world works wants you to succeed.
I want you to succeed and I believe your personal development plan is a huge part of that.
Your success means that you have more wealth and resources to buy more things, contribute to the economy and raise the quality of life for all of us.
Start today and don't look back.
Stay consistent with your plan.
Don't Quit!!
Share your story with the world because you have a great story.
It's up to you to make a difference in the lives of others.
Create your personal development plan TODAY!
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7711408

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

How To Manifest Anything! -Very Powerful Tool! (Law Of Attraction)


Want to buy a dream home, manifest financial wealth, create amazing relationships, build a successful business, and/or contribute to the lives of A LOT of people? Peggy McColl who is a New York Times Best-Selling Author is going to show you the process of exactly how to get there! Click on a link to sign up for her Free Webinar.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Key Points About Emotional Intelligence

So why is it important that we understand emotional intelligence? Are there different kinds of emotional intelligence? Is there a difference between men and women or between people of different ages, or people doing different kinds of jobs? The key information summarized below is the result of many studies, documented in books, research papers and case studies during the last twenty years.
Emotional intelligence can be learned and developed
There are now a variety of different ways to teach and learn about emotional intelligence. Whatever your current level, with the right support, activities and commitment, you can improve it. Unlike your cognitive intelligence (of IQ), which peaks around the age of seventeen and stays constant throughout most of your life until it declines in old age, your emotional intelligence can be improved at any age in life.
Increases with life experience
Research by Dr Reuven Bar-On, using the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), confirms that emotional intelligence increases with age, peaks in the age group forty to forty-nine and then levels out. This could imply that after the age of forty-nine few new experiences add to or enhance our emotional intelligence. However, I prefer to think that learning about ourselves is a life long task. Research using the Multifactor Emotional Intelligence Scale (MEIS) also suggests that it improves with age, increasing between young adolescence and early adulthood.
Everyone's needs are different
We all live among other people - in our family, community or place or work - and being able to understand, interpret and use the emotional content of life is useful for all of us. However, different jobs may require different levels and aspects of emotional intelligence - for instance, if you work in a job which involves a high degree of contact with other people, you may needed more of an ability to manage emotions (to deal with the storms), whereas if you are a counselor, you may need a higher ability to understand your own emotions.
There are some differences between men and women
When Reuven Bar-On's Emotional Quotient Inventory was used in as study of 7,700 men and women it was found that, whilst there was no difference between men and women on total EQ (or Emotional Quotient), women scored higher on all three interpersonal abilities (empathy, interpersonal relationship and social responsibility). Men scored higher on interpersonal dimensions (e.g. self-actualisation, assertiveness), stress management (stress tolerance, impulse control) and adaptability (e.g. reality-testing, problem-solving). According to Dr Bar-On, "Women are more aware of emotions, demonstrate more empathy, relate better interpersonally, and act with more social responsibility than men. On the other hand, men appear to have better self-regard, are more independent, cope better with stress, are more flexible, solve problems better, and are more optimistic than women."
Being emotionally intelligent adds to your general intelligence
Whether you're being systematic about buying your groceries in a super-market, or being organised about setting and achieving a business plan, or even your life goals, you need a good IQ. (intelligence quotient). When solving a problem, being realistic about what is achievable involves some practical knowledge. Focusing on emotional intelligence doesn't mean throwing out the guidelines and structures that you learned a long time ago to help organise your day-to-day life. An awareness of the emotional aspects of what is happening will add to the abilities measured by IQ. As the psychologist David Wechsler put it in 1940, individuals with identical IQs may differ very markedly in regard to their effective ability to cope with the environment.
'Emotional intelligence' is not an oxymoron
An oxymoron is a word or phrase that brings together two contradictory ideas (such as 'bittersweet', 'living death'). Within what might appear a contradiction, 'emotional intelligence', lies the depth of the concept of EI - it involves both the process of turning into your emotions (some-times regarded as the 'soft' stuff) and the need to be analytical about emotions and learn new skills in a 'hard' analytical way. Since 1990, when John Mayer and Peter Salovey coined the term 'emotional intelligence', their work, and that of David Caruso has highlighted this important combination of thinking and feeling. Both are necessary if you are to make good decisions.
The hard science underpinning it
The fields of neurology, medicine and psychology have all contributed and added to our understanding of emotions and the role of emotions in staying healthy;
Affects our ability to make decisions
We make most of our decisions through our emotions, whether we think so or not. Therefore, it is useful for making good decisions.
Reflected in relationships
This is the area where you generally observe, at close hand, people with emotional intelligence - they tend to enjoy close relationships, and are comfortable with themselves and with others.
Measurable
Numerous studies have been conducted which prove that a focus on emotional intelligence has benefits to health, business success, and relationships. Particularly useful are the case studies documented by HeartMath Europe. The benefits they found include reduced blood pressure', higher levels of personal productivity and team effectiveness - and these benefits are sustained six months after people are taught the techniques.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7328761